Transpersonal Integration - Jeanne De Wet (2010-07-04)
I’d been going through a turbulent time of change and I was finding myself stuck in a situations which I couldn’t seem able to escape, and yet I at times knew was coming to an end and would bring change that I wasn’t at all looking forward to. In chatting to Becky about certain aspects of this, she directed me into a process of facing my resistance.
During the process I could sense that she was taking me directly towards the edge of a (the!) void. The closer we got the more the fear arose, and yet I felt completely safe to let her lead me. She was unknowingly accompanying me on a journey I’d long been too afraid to go on alone. She gently but persistently inched me further on, as the fear closed in. Her final question somehow prompted me to face my core fear full on. My response felt shameful – she called it perfect. In that instance, the fear dissolved and became perfect peace. Nothing more was needed. My mind stood still and my heart opened.
Since then, I’ve been watching to see what would unfold. Although the mind has kicked in at times, no fear has returned. I’m in a process of continued surrender to “what is” which is a result of the loss of fear. It’s not all easy or simple but it’s real and it’s happening perfectly. As Becky reminds me often, the clouds come and go but the sun remains.
For a few years I’ve avoided having any dental work done to the point where I was having some serious problems with my teeth. A few months ago I found a new dentist and went to see him and he helped me overcome a degree of my fear by helping me to LOOK right at what he was doing in my mouth, with a mirror while he worked. This helped a lot as it occupied my mind with something other than it’s own fearful imaginings. I was still stuck though in needing to hold up the mirror while he worked and if I put it down, I’d find the phobia arising again and my body would tense up.
By chance, a few days after Becky and I had our chat, I had to go to the dentist again. I hadn’t thought about there being any connection between our chat and my dentist fears – I was just getting on with living. A few minutes after the dentist started working on me, I suddenly realized I wasn’t using the mirror and I was completely relaxed. Big win! Next thing I know – I drifted off to sleep! He was drilling and filling in my mouth – and I could not stay awake! Not only was there no fear but I was so relaxed I was falling asleep – the complete opposite of the tension I’ve lived with for so long.
In terms of where this will take me – I don’t know yet. The shift has been huge and the effects are still unfolding. In terms of what this encounter has been worth to me – invaluable. It’s probably one of the most dramatic shifts of my entire spiritual journey – not for what it led me into but for what it freed me from. I’m grateful!
During the process I could sense that she was taking me directly towards the edge of a (the!) void. The closer we got the more the fear arose, and yet I felt completely safe to let her lead me. She was unknowingly accompanying me on a journey I’d long been too afraid to go on alone. She gently but persistently inched me further on, as the fear closed in. Her final question somehow prompted me to face my core fear full on. My response felt shameful – she called it perfect. In that instance, the fear dissolved and became perfect peace. Nothing more was needed. My mind stood still and my heart opened.
Since then, I’ve been watching to see what would unfold. Although the mind has kicked in at times, no fear has returned. I’m in a process of continued surrender to “what is” which is a result of the loss of fear. It’s not all easy or simple but it’s real and it’s happening perfectly. As Becky reminds me often, the clouds come and go but the sun remains.
For a few years I’ve avoided having any dental work done to the point where I was having some serious problems with my teeth. A few months ago I found a new dentist and went to see him and he helped me overcome a degree of my fear by helping me to LOOK right at what he was doing in my mouth, with a mirror while he worked. This helped a lot as it occupied my mind with something other than it’s own fearful imaginings. I was still stuck though in needing to hold up the mirror while he worked and if I put it down, I’d find the phobia arising again and my body would tense up.
By chance, a few days after Becky and I had our chat, I had to go to the dentist again. I hadn’t thought about there being any connection between our chat and my dentist fears – I was just getting on with living. A few minutes after the dentist started working on me, I suddenly realized I wasn’t using the mirror and I was completely relaxed. Big win! Next thing I know – I drifted off to sleep! He was drilling and filling in my mouth – and I could not stay awake! Not only was there no fear but I was so relaxed I was falling asleep – the complete opposite of the tension I’ve lived with for so long.
In terms of where this will take me – I don’t know yet. The shift has been huge and the effects are still unfolding. In terms of what this encounter has been worth to me – invaluable. It’s probably one of the most dramatic shifts of my entire spiritual journey – not for what it led me into but for what it freed me from. I’m grateful!
